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No single person, in the
right frame of mind, believes in denial the rights of the parents unto
their own children. The parents are, indeed , the very reason for the
existence of their child . Both parents are entitled to great rights by
their children in accordance to Islam, and all other sounds principles, as
well. But, let us closely examine the right of parents to their children
according to Islam.
Parents raise their own
children and care for them through their childhood. Both suffer a lot for
the comfort, pleasure, happiness , health and satisfaction of their
children. They wake up and stayed awake, in order for their child to sleep.
They suffer all kinds of headache
, fatigue , and tiredness for the contentment of their child ,
particularly while they are
infants.
A mother carries the child
in her womb , for nine lunar months , in most normal pregnancies . She
gives her fetus from her own food and sustenance bearing all the
biological, chemical , and physical changes that she is burdened with ,
with a pleasant feeling , high hopes and beautiful expectation of her
beloved baby. All these difficulties encountered by a mother , although
causing her fatigue , weakness end many other problems , are not but pleasure to most normal pregnant
mothers who re in love with their children in their wombs. Allah , the
Almighty stated in the glorious Quran :
“ And We have enjoined on man ( to be good) to his parents:
In travail upon travail did his mother bear him and in years twain , was
his weaning ( Her the command to Me and to thy parents: To Me is ( he
final) Goal”
31:14
Later in the life of the
child , his mother nurses the child regardless of hoe tiring this process
is , how demanding it may be , how difficult it could become at times , but
still mothers sacrifice all for their beloved babies. Normal mothers
willingly , happily and gladly do that for their beloved children , in the
most ordinary cases for two years or even longer , without compliant ,
burden or even hesitation , day and night, summer and winter, busy or
unoccupied , tired or rested , happy or sad , as mothers again take special
interest in their babies.
It is, therefore , for that
very reason , along with many others, illustrated later , that Allah, the
Almighty, constituted this immense right on man towards his parents. The
sacrifices of mothers mainly are most distinct, unique and an act that
stands on its own merits. Fathers nevertheless are also next in importance
for the child is at an early stage of his/her life when such child can not
fetch for himself , defend himself or earn for himself. Mothers , however,
carry on their emotions , caring feelings, loving and concern about their
own children for much longer periods
in life. In fact , some mothers approach death , or even their own children
have grand children , but yet , they still considered them “babies” as,
they never left that infant and helpless stage. For that reason , Allah ,
the Almighty , stated in the glorious Quran :
“ Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and
that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old stage in
thy life , say no word to them in contempt , nor repel them but address
them in terms of honor. And, out of kindness, bower to them the wing of humility,
and say: “ My Lord! Bestow upon them thy mercy even as they cherished me
childhood”.
17:23-24
The most essential right of
parents unto their children, male and female , is to be most kind , helpful
, respectful , caring , mindful , gentle and keen to them. A child must
exert every effort , financial ability and physical abilities to be kind ,
good, helpful , protective and serving to them at any given time of their
life. A child must , at any
given time in his life , obey their commands and follow their requests and
instructions , as long as such instructions and commands do not contradict
, conflict with , or disrespect the command of Allah , the Almighty , or
cause the child any physical or mental harm.
A child must be kind in
words , treatment and actions to his parents. It is a right of the parents
on their children to be pleasant in their presence and serve them with
pleasure and without any complaints , hidden or apparent. It is their due
right to be served from their children at their old age, in case of aging
and illness and being very weak , with no compliant , criticism or
grievance. A child will , most likely , suffer the same things his parents
from in aging , weakness and may be the state of senility. A child in most
normal circumstances, could become a parent himself , and may become an
undesirable or unwanted parent in his children home or house hold , if
Allah , the Almighty , wanted for such a child this situation. Such an
aging parent is in need for help , caring and assistance of his children as
well. This is the normal life, as you deal others , and especially your
parents , Allah , the Almighty , will provide you with children who will
treat you in the same manner and fashion . Therefore , if a child grew up
to be kind to his old and aging parents, when they need care , service and
assistance , let him rest assured that Allah, the Almighty , will cause his
children to be as nice , or on the contrary , as evil , as one was to his
parents. In fact , as you treat your parents , your own children will treat
you. Moreover , Allah , the Almighty, placed the parents in such a high
position in accordance with Islam , the religion of he pure, innate and
practical way of life. The rights of parents as preserved by in Islam by
Allah , the Almighty , are so immense that He, the Almighty, placed their
rights upon their children nest to His Own right upon man, Whom He , the
Almighty, created , cherished , sustained and supported. Allah stated in
the glorious Quran:
“ Serve God, and join not any partners with Him ; and good
to parents”. 4:36
Allah’s Apostle , PBUH,
places kindness to parents in a position higher than jihad , struggle and
actual fight for the cause of Allah , the Almighty, in an Islamic battle
and for a noble Islamic cause. Ibn Masoud, RAA , companion of Allah’s
Apostle , PBUH narrated that :” I asked Allah’s Apostle , PBUH, : ‘What is
the most beloved deed in the
sight of Allah , the Almighty?” He, PBUH, said:” Offering Salah in its due
and prescribed time .” I, then asked: “ What is next”? He PBUH, said “
kindness to one’s parents. “ I further askd :” What is next?” He, PBUH,
said :” Jihad for the cause of Allah , the Almighty.” This Hadith statement
of Allah’s Apostle reported by both Bukhari and Muslim
This Hadith, definitely ,
shows the importance of the rights of parents upon their children .It is a
very unfortunate situation to notice , nowadays that many individuals ,
regardless of creed , believe , national or geographical location , social
or economical status , are showing discern , humiliation , carelessness ,
indifference or even neglect to their own parents . At times , the best
thing that one does is to send a gift , a greeting card or a message with
someone , a telephone call , or a telegram or a even a fax to his parent
wishing them a happy year , a happy birthday , a happy anniversary or any
other occasion. One forgets that amount of effort they exerted physically ,
biologically , socially , economically , emotionally and spiritually to see
their beloved child grow to become what he/she is. Occasionally , children
may get together for reunion , so to speak to , or for a special occasion
or event. Nine out of ten times if you ask a person whi is brought up in a
western hemisphere , although he might be a Mislim , about what he would do
with own parents when they grow olf , grumpy and maybe incapable of caring
for their own affairs , the answer comes spontaneously : “ I will arrange a
very nice, clean and pleasnt nursing home!!!!” What caring a child ! One
forget totally what his parents did for him at his young age ! How much
they suffered and struggled for him. How much they sacrificaed for his
safety , pleasure , health and
happiness. That is history . He can not take the extra effort to care for
them when they really need his care and company in a pay back so to speak
terms and conditions!!! Moreover , it is noticed , nowadays also that some
very unfortunate parents are
treated rather inhumanely by their own children . There are even some other
children who do not admit any right for their parents but rather discern
them, attempt to ridicule them , insult them , humiliate them or even beat
them in private , or at times in public callings from senile , old man ,
old woman , and every other name in the book. Such youngsters will get
their due and fair reward in this life before the hereafter , Allah , the
Almighty, knows best.
Islam insists on the rights
of the parents due to the very nature of human feelings , human needs ,
human race and society. That , what we, Muslims believe is a sort of dedication that Allah, the
Almighty , placed in the hearts of the young Muslims generation so the
Muslims Society become distinguished and unique for its own merits. Allah ,
the Almighty, stated in the glorious Quran:
“ Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents.” 31:14
That is the Islamic
criterion for the right of the parents. This is but a truly human , honoring and respectful
treatment to the physical parents who produced us from their very existence
, dedicated their life , efforts , wealth and all what that they can afford
to see us the way we are. Those who stayed awake during the nights when we
ached , deprived themselves new clothes to see us wearing new clothes ,
suffered when we suffered , celebrated our first step , felt happy and
proud when we achieved , felt miserable and unhappy when we failed. That is
why we should honor them at their old age. This natural right for the
parents is preserved , honored, respected and practiced by truly committed
Muslims, young and old, anywhere in the Islamic world. That is also why we
urge everyone , Muslim or non-Muslim to learn about the beauty of Islam as
a complete and integral way of life. It is indeed the religion of pure and
innate that does not clash or contradicted with the correct natural matters
of this life.
Shaikh Mohammed Saleh
Alothaimeen
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